Thin Love

Ain't Love At All

The late Toni Morrison wrote in her 1987 novel Beloved:

“Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all.”

I’m coming to your inbox with a special bonus essay for Valentine’s Day- all about a new Love. previously shared the story of searching for—and eventually finding—my dad’s newest love, Sweet Sunny.

Well, in that search, Ty, from Painted Paws sent me a photo of a dog he’d met. He thought she could be a great fit for my dad. Dad promptly shared that she might be a little too short for him, as he was set on finding an avid and enduring hiking buddy - somewhere in his soul, I think my dad was also being pulled to Sunny, whom he hadn’t even discovered yet. Because that’s how soul bonds work - we find each other in each lifetime, so he and Sunny were just trying to locate each other in this one.

We moved on, got Sunny, my parents fell in love, and our family’s love thickened.

But I could not shake the picture of the little shorty that Ty had shown me. In a final act of desperation to get the longing out of my heart, I came home from work one day, and I pleaded with Michael “I wonder if we should see about that dog for us. I really have a feeling about it.” I expected him, like he’d said so many times before to tell me “We don’t need another dog.” To which I’ve always responded, we didn’t “need” the first one, but now neither of us could imagine our lives not having Jeffrey.”

He inhaled deeply, sighed even deeper, and said “Will a second dog help with all the extra love you have in your heart to give?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “It will do exactly that, and I think it would help your heart too.” “Okay, let’s try it.” he caved.

What happened next was a few weeks of waiting for transport from Forever Homes Animal Rescue, which works to rescue animals from high-kill shelters to transport them to adopters in other states¹, removing the barriers of location for adoption. “Mommas,” they shared, was found as a stray in Tularosa, New Mexico in April, rescued, gave birth to a litter of puppies, all of which were adopted, and then Mommas waited, and waited, and waited. The shelter loved her, the fosters loved her, and she did great with other dogs.

We drove to Pueblo on Saturday, February 1st, also known as St. Brigid’s Day- a day that marks new life, among many things. So fitting. The van arrived from New Mexico, filled with furry babies awaiting their forever and foster homes. “I’m here for Mommas!” I told them, having rushed to the van to be first in line.

She slinked out of her crate, hesitant but trusting, her dark eyes scanning the unfamiliar faces before settling on mine. I leaned over, offering my hand, and she pressed her nose into my palm like she had already decided.

Michael stood beside the car, watching as I walked her over. Jeffrey, perched in the back seat, leaned forward with cautious curiosity. I gave her leash a gentle tug, and she followed as if she had already walked this path before.

We agreed to the one-week trial period, but I think we all knew that day, standing in the abnormally warm February air, that she wasn’t going anywhere. She belonged.

Her name is now Tula, in part because of where she was found, but mostly because it means 'balance'—and that’s exactly what she’s brought to us.

She’s short, just like Jeff prefers her to be. Her coat looks like the inside of a perfectly toasted cinnamon raisin bagel, and her feet are dipped white. She’s thick, just like Morrison says love should be.

Love like this takes time to root, and I’ve learned that even new love—even thick love—needs space to settle in. And as I watch Jeffrey and Tula sniff at each other, inching closer each day, I know that love, in all its forms, always finds a way to make room.

Tula and Jeffrey continue to acclimate to each other, but they’re doing better than we could have imagined, in part, because we’re giving everyone, including ourselves, time to adjust. There is plenty of love here, plenty of resources, and plenty of life. This is a life and a love of plenty, and this Valentine’s Day I can’t express just how good this love is.

Happy Valentine’s Day to my loves. Because love is—or it ain’t. And thin love ain’t love at all.

1. Did you know, that according to nokillcolorado.org, we have more adopters than pets entering our shelter system! If I wasn’t already proud to live here!