Loving the Familiar

It takes time and work to get this familiar.

We’re away for a couple of nights in one of our favorite cities. Michael and I have been visiting Boulder since early on in our relationship. I think it might have even been our first “getaway” together nearly 12 years ago now.

These trips have a different feel these days. The settling in of a long term relationship like the seasoning on your favorite cast iron skillet. There’s beauty in newness and beauty in the established too.

We came here with the intention of hiking some of our favorite trails, and then I packed in haste and forgot any clothes to hike in. We stopped at Walmart so I could buy something cheap to wear, while he worried about if we’d get to our dinner reservation on time.

We lamented about how a previously beloved pizza place has gotten just a little too full of themselves, and how “salty” is not an impressive flavor profile.

We don’t really drink these days, so we ordered cocktails at dinner, “because we’re on vacation!” He asked how much he should tip and I said what I say every single time. “20%!” He held the receipt further away from him face than he needed to at his age, dramatically straining to squint at the writing. I rolled my eyes.

Back in the hotel room, he patted his full belly while I took off my shoes and threw my hair up in a haphazard bun asking “do you think we’ll go back there next time we’re here?” knowing damn well we will, and we’ll complain again about the salt or how they only have one bathroom, but the gelato is so good.

And in just a bit, when he wakes up, he’ll offer to make my coffee first, or go get some for me from the hotel lobby. I’ll tell him I love him and that this is the life I always wanted and he’s the one I always hoped for, and he’ll say “aww, My Peach” as he pulls me in close and kisses my forehead. And we’ll surprise each other today, here and there, in little ways. And I’ll don my new Walmart hiking outfit and spray too much bug spray and sunscreen and he won’t be as hungry as I will be by lunchtime, but then he’ll eat off my plate when he orders something too small or light that doesn’t fill him up.

And that’s how this goes. And it takes a whole lot of work and a whole lot of love to feel this familiar.